Voices & Stories
Tips for Being an Ally to People with Disabilities
By Jacob Lesner-Buxton • Posted on November 30, 2025
1. Listen and believe our experiences.
When we say something is inaccessible or that we’ve experienced discrimination, believe us. Avoid minimizing or questioning our experiences; access barriers may not be visible to you, but they are real to us.
2. Ask how to offer support before stepping in.
If you want to help, start by asking if and how we’d like your support, especially in public situations. Respect our preferences, even if they differ from what you expect.
3. Be honest, respectful, and direct.
Treat people with disabilities as equals. Communicate honestly and avoid being overly cautious or performative; authenticity builds trust.
4. Learn with us, not about us.
Attend disability-related events, trainings, and celebrations. Support disability-led organizations, amplify our voices, and encourage others to do the same.
5. Understand that disability experiences are diverse.
Disability intersects with race, class, gender, sexuality, and culture. Recognize that no single person represents all disability experiences.
6. Respect boundaries around questions and privacy.
If you’re curious about someone’s disability, ask respectfully, and be okay if they prefer not to discuss it. No one owes an explanation about their body or experience.
7. Use inclusive language and honor preferences.
If you’re unsure about what terms to use (e.g., “disabled person” vs. “person with a disability”), it’s okay to ask what someone prefers. Language matters, and being flexible shows respect.
8. Be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Allies make mistakes; what matters is listening, apologizing when needed, and continuing to learn. Don’t let fear of imperfection stop you from showing up in solidarity.
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[id] => 17
[date] => 2021-02-03
[status] => Active
[new] =>
[title] => ACC's Emergency Preparedness and Disaster Response services bring peace and security
[author] => Anonymous
[article] => How has the Disability Disaster Access and Resources Program changed your life?
Ever since the Thomas Fire this has been in the back of my mind being worried about the electricity going off and all of a sudden PG&E referred me to you and there was an overwhelming amount of peace. It gives you a deep peace to know you’re not subject to the whims of the weather. You can never tell about the unknown factors. You can watch the weather all you want but the reality is you need to be prepared.
How do you feel about how ACC has helped you prepare for disasters and emergencies? How did you feel before?
It's like a miracle happened to me. That's the way I feel. In the beginning I couldn't believe it. I didn't believe it for the first week or so. It's wonderful, I don't know how to describe it, it's beyond words at times. Before planning with ACC there was nothing and I explored everything to find assistance. Unless I had $5,000 to buy a battery there was nothing for me and I felt frustration that the winds could make them turn the power off. It's nice to be able to do something about it. Before planning it made me feel powerless. It gave me power in this situation to get the planning.
What is different now that you have the backup battery and disaster plan?
It's peace of mind I guess. It's being proactive instead of waiting for the situation to happen and seeing what help you can find. This program is safety and gives you a nice warm fuzzy feeling.
"ACC isn't like a government agency it's like people helping people. It's real help by real people."
-Michele, Consumer of Lauren Utterback- Independent Living Advocate
)
[1] => Array
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[id] => 10
[date] => 2022-10-19
[status] => Active
[new] =>
[title] => How do you bounce back?
[author] => Paige Masson
[article] => When your disability decides to transform into a tornado and tear through your safety net, how do you bounce back?
Sometimes this tornado can be physically seen by others. Other times, it manifests as verbal warfare within the mind. In my case, having Bipolar Disorder is mostly invisible. The times it shows up physically though, it's like a storm goes on non-stop for weeks. When those weeks are over, it is clean-up time but...
Where do I begin? Have I done a well enough job at putting speed bumps on my road?
Did I utilize my toolbox to the best of my ability?
Mental health is a tricky one. We all experience the good and the bad days. People with Bipolar Disorder experience very intense mood changes. In my case, it took over three weeks to recover from a depressive episode. My room got messy. I missed some days of work. Eating became difficult. Sleeping was the only time I felt okay. I tried to explain the chaos and the pain to the people around me but it felt like I was speaking a foreign language. Regardless of the support and the love my safety net tried to provide, I felt alone and misunderstood.
If this feeling feels familiar to you, let me assure you that you are not alone. Let me also assure you that there is hope. Being misunderstood can be alleviated with proper education. After making it through the most recent depressive episodes, I learned a few things about myself.
1. I am resilient beyond comprehension. Having a disability can make someone feel otherwise but the fact that we can rise above its definition and stigmas is to be admired.
2. Happiness can be conserved within my mind and heart. Holding on to the excitement, hope, and love can help carry the weight during dark times.
3. Patience truly is a virtue. Cleaning up the tornado's mess allows your resilient spirit to shine through. The key to cleaning up the mess is patience.
If you feel alone, please remember that you are not alone. Somebody does care even if that somebody is you. Making it through each day one foot at a time can be just enough to remind yourself that brighter days are ahead, even if they are just existing in your consciousness or dreams for the time being.
A doodle by Paige Masson of a woman in a blue dress with a pink belt and yellow hair with thoughts shaped like flowers flowing from the top of her head. On one side of her is "Mania," colored in yellow and reflecting sunshine tornadoes. On the other side, blue for "Depression" with black tornadoes and blue background. Always split in half by the two emotions."
)
[2] => Array
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[id] => 18
[date] => 2021-02-03
[status] => Active
[new] =>
[title] => Involving family in emergency planning reduces anxiety
[author] => Anonymous
[article] => How has the Disaster Access and Resources Program changed your life?
It’s made me realize I could be better prepared. Even with past training it’s good to update and change things. It’s important to start if you don’t have a plan especially with everything going on right now. If an emergency happens I want to make sure I have everything I need. I’m very appreciative of the plan. Once we sit down with our family members and friends we want them to all sit down and disaster plan too.
How do you feel about how ACC has helped you prepare for disasters and emergencies? How did you feel before?
I feel more than I expected. I didn’t know you offered these types of things. I thought I would have to do research but it was easy to do it with one person and one agency. Especially for someone with anxiety issues researching multiple agencies can be overwhelming for somebody.
I was not ready but now I am.
-Dominique, Consumer of Lauren Utterback, Independent Living Advocate
)
)
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