Voices & Stories
Tips for Being an Ally to People with Disabilities
By Jacob Lesner-Buxton • Posted on November 30, 2025
1. Listen and believe our experiences.
When we say something is inaccessible or that we’ve experienced discrimination, believe us. Avoid minimizing or questioning our experiences; access barriers may not be visible to you, but they are real to us.
2. Ask how to offer support before stepping in.
If you want to help, start by asking if and how we’d like your support, especially in public situations. Respect our preferences, even if they differ from what you expect.
3. Be honest, respectful, and direct.
Treat people with disabilities as equals. Communicate honestly and avoid being overly cautious or performative; authenticity builds trust.
4. Learn with us, not about us.
Attend disability-related events, trainings, and celebrations. Support disability-led organizations, amplify our voices, and encourage others to do the same.
5. Understand that disability experiences are diverse.
Disability intersects with race, class, gender, sexuality, and culture. Recognize that no single person represents all disability experiences.
6. Respect boundaries around questions and privacy.
If you’re curious about someone’s disability, ask respectfully, and be okay if they prefer not to discuss it. No one owes an explanation about their body or experience.
7. Use inclusive language and honor preferences.
If you’re unsure about what terms to use (e.g., “disabled person” vs. “person with a disability”), it’s okay to ask what someone prefers. Language matters, and being flexible shows respect.
8. Be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Allies make mistakes; what matters is listening, apologizing when needed, and continuing to learn. Don’t let fear of imperfection stop you from showing up in solidarity.
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[id] => 2
[date] => 2025-12-07
[status] => Active
[new] =>
[title] => Kyle and His Journey Towards Independence
[author] => Jacob Lesner-Buxton
[article] => 
In 2020, at just 35 years old, Kyle was diagnosed with a condition that caused total paralysis and was told he might never live independently again. After three years of hard work in therapy, he was determined to regain his independence. By 2024, Kyle was living in a care home costing $7,000 a month, facing the possibility of being moved to a county facility because he had no family able to care for him. He needed housing that would allow him to continue therapy, cook, maintain hygiene, and work toward walking again—but every affordable or subsidized option he found was inaccessible. Narrow doorways, small bathrooms, inaccessible kitchens—most apartments listed as “accessible” were not truly accessible.
After a year and a half of searching, Kyle finally found one apartment that worked: first floor, with wide hallways and doorways, and a kitchen and bathroom he could actually use with his wheelchair. The rent is $3,300—still far from affordable, but half of what the care home costs. With this housing, he has been able to build a workout space, cook for himself, and continue his recovery.
Kyle’s experience highlights a critical gap: accessible housing is almost never aligned with affordable housing. People with disabilities are often excluded from low-income options simply because they aren’t built with accessibility in mind. Independence shouldn’t cost extra—it should be a baseline. Alongside ACC, Kyle was able to apply and receive in-home care, find an apartment, and be connected with continued supports to help him with his journey towards independence.
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[1] => Array
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[id] => 23
[date] => 2021-02-22
[status] => Active
[new] =>
[title] => ACC's Disability Disaster Access and Resources Program provides peace of mind during precarious times
[author] => Anonymous
[article] => I'd like to thank you very much for the Personal Protective Equipment and backup battery the ACC provided for me and my family. You and your awesome Disability Disaster Access and Resources program have provided much needed peace of mind during precarious times. For that, I’m humbled and very grateful. Thank You!
Prior to contacting the ACC, I was genuinely concerned about what I'd do if the power ever went out at my home. However, it wasn't until recently that it was announced there were going to be scheduled rolling "blackouts," that my concern significantly escalated. I've been a CPAP user since 2010 after suffering viral congestive heart failure. My life literally relies upon its use while I sleep. I began researching options and priced various systems, but ultimately couldn't afford them or concluded they weren't feasible for my home. The backup battery (also a power inverter) ACC provided allows me to power my CPAP. It can also charge important electronics such as cell phones, tablets, rechargeable flashlights, and laptops. I have incorporated my new backup battery into my family's disaster preparedness planning and feel confident we would persevere through most short-term events.
I'm a U.S. Air Force veteran with a service-connected disability and also a medically retired (broken back) law enforcement officer of more than 30 years. I live on a monthly fixed income, which makes large purchases difficult. The ACC has restored a previously lost sense of security to my daily living! I'm genuinely humbled. Lauren's patience, compassion, and smooth facilitation throughout the entire process has been a Godsend! I'm forever grateful and thankful.
Anonymous, Consumer of Lauren Utterback, Independent Living Advocate
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[2] => Array
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[id] => 17
[date] => 2021-02-03
[status] => Active
[new] =>
[title] => ACC's Emergency Preparedness and Disaster Response services bring peace and security
[author] => Anonymous
[article] => How has the Disability Disaster Access and Resources Program changed your life?
Ever since the Thomas Fire this has been in the back of my mind being worried about the electricity going off and all of a sudden PG&E referred me to you and there was an overwhelming amount of peace. It gives you a deep peace to know you’re not subject to the whims of the weather. You can never tell about the unknown factors. You can watch the weather all you want but the reality is you need to be prepared.
How do you feel about how ACC has helped you prepare for disasters and emergencies? How did you feel before?
It's like a miracle happened to me. That's the way I feel. In the beginning I couldn't believe it. I didn't believe it for the first week or so. It's wonderful, I don't know how to describe it, it's beyond words at times. Before planning with ACC there was nothing and I explored everything to find assistance. Unless I had $5,000 to buy a battery there was nothing for me and I felt frustration that the winds could make them turn the power off. It's nice to be able to do something about it. Before planning it made me feel powerless. It gave me power in this situation to get the planning.
What is different now that you have the backup battery and disaster plan?
It's peace of mind I guess. It's being proactive instead of waiting for the situation to happen and seeing what help you can find. This program is safety and gives you a nice warm fuzzy feeling.
"ACC isn't like a government agency it's like people helping people. It's real help by real people."
-Michele, Consumer of Lauren Utterback- Independent Living Advocate
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